The Visibility Paradox: How to Shake Off the Shame of Taking Credit

“But I do not want to ruffle any feathers.”

I often encounter this objection when Asian women realize that we can no longer put off getting visibility for our work.

This statement is laced with fear. Many have been raised by immigrant parents with a stern warning that standing out has its consequences. You can earn the ire of your peers and get fired. Sometimes, you risk receiving a harsh, “Go back to your 'home'!” even when home is just a 15-minute drive away. (I bet only Asians will get this.)

Our fear has its historical underpinnings. In the late 19th century, Chinese railroad workers were viewed by their counterparts as threats; hence, they were called the “Yellow Peril.” Not too long after, Filipino farm workers who dressed stylishly outside of work and danced with women outside of their race aggravated economic competition and racial discord, igniting the Watsonville riots in 1929 to 1930.

For our elders, keeping their heads down was crucial for security and survival.

These days, the resistance to visibility could also be an act of cultural preservation. As most Asian cultures tend to be collectivist, it is common to hear of women who were raised in families where standing out could be seen as selfish. With modesty as an integral virtue in our identities, women feel guilt and shame when taking credit for our work.

A Value Shift

Before any changes can happen, you need to first recognize when your values are no longer serving you.

You know it’s time to change when:

• You feel frustrated and angered when people take credit for your work.

• You feel blindsided when somebody else takes your dream project and gets promoted to the role you know you deserve more.

• You feel exhausted from running on a treadmill that gets you nowhere.

Even more so, you know a change is absolutely necessary when you look above your pay grade and realize that there is hardly anyone there who looks like you and can advocate for you.

The 5 Steps

It takes more than just wit and hard work to build credibility and advance into higher roles, especially at senior levels. While most resources online give tactical steps to obtain visibility, what you will find in this newsletter are prompts to help you address any resistance that you might have at a deeper level.

1. Recognize What Your Current Context Requires

Unlike your elders, your needs and goals as an emerging leader might no longer be just about security and survival. Consider these prompts:

• What will it take for you to feel a greater sense of happiness and fulfillment in the short and long-term?

• Who depends on your work? What do they need from you?

• If you could speak with your elders, what would they be most proud of about you? What will make your great-grandchildren grateful to you?

2. Call Out The Lie

Sometimes the journey involves reclaiming your truth by asking the hard question: Are you really overshadowing anyone by speaking up for yourself?

It is ironic, but worth noting that your worry about overshadowing someone might be eclipsing your own light.

3. Reframe Your Personal Leadership Values

Here is another possibility: You can still be modest or humble even when you endeavor for visibility.

There are many ways to do this. In your 1:1s, you can be modest with your words and gentle with your feedback. You can practice situational humility by acknowledging the need to change your mindset and adapt.

4. Take Action

As you undertake these internal shifts, make them manifest by creating a plan of action and commit to accomplishing it. Here’s an excellent resource with tactical tips to give you further ideas: Harvard Business Review - How to Become More Visible at Work

5. Enlist Support

Stepping out into the light can be frightening and disorienting. Seek out a trusted thought partner like a coach, mentor, or an objective peer to help you navigate the process.

Obtaining visibility at work does not have to be a huge overnight undertaking. You can take small steps, knowing that each adds up in the grand scheme of things.

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I look forward to hearing about your thoughts, challenges, and experiences. Share them with our subscribers by writing a comment or sending an email to hello@joyfultransformations.org.

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